I've had a craving for grapefruit lately; I wonder if that is a strange thing to desire. I decided to honor the feeling and made fresh squeezed grapefruit juice. I was struck by the memories from childhood that came flooding in with the first inhale of the citrus scent. I recalled long summer days playing in the sprinklers with all of the neighborhood kids, climbing trees, riding bikes, and new roller skates. I remember my mom biking with us and spending hours drawing next to me on the sidewalk with colored chalk, I especially remember her jumping rope with us for hours on end. She always made a big deal out of holidays and birthdays too. She cooked our  favorite birthday meal, every year. For me, it was fried chicken; in the heavy heat of August. Watching the sunset and sipping grapefruit juice, I reminisced about best friends, fireworks, and summer picnics at the big park around the corner.  I chose to remember the good times; the experiences that were filled with light, laughter and a little adventure.

Perhaps I'm wishing for simpler times. Yet, I don't remember a simpler time. Life has always had challenges, highlights, tragedy, and triumph. I am feeling nostalgic though and long for a best friend who lives across the street willing to climb a tree with me or stay up for hours into the night telling stories under the stars. Or perhaps I'm missing my mom; I could use her soothing words and envelope of protection when the work day is difficult as it has been for a while now. Then again, maybe it is my younger sister who I miss. She was the opposite of me in so many ways and also one of the most amazing people I know. Isn't it interesting how far we are from our childhood dreams and goals... I remind myself, this is life.

I engage in art as a way to manage stress, create delight, and occupy my mind. And, again, I think creating powerful, pretty, or thought provoking images is a form of activism. This past weekend was rather stressful and it wasn't until late yesterday afternoon that I was able to brush it off and get creative!

Because I'm using Arts Based Research in my dissertation and because of my geographical location I take a lot of online art courses in a variety of subjects.  I haven't decided what medium really suits my style so I suit my fancy and enroll. (in more courses than I can finish)  I justify taking the classes by calling it 'research'. But really, I like taking the courses. I'm captivated by color, texture, and really cool images. I like how art images can tell a story and lead to transformation. In fact, I'd say art is a pretty powerful vehicle for so many things.  It is another way of knowing; which I appreciate very much as I don't always find the right words.

The image above is an eco-print! I learned the process yesterday from Galia at Art is Magic and I'm captivated!  I love herbalism and I love art and here was an invitation to combine both. There aren't many botanical options in the yard right now; spring is just starting at our elevation. But, I had a lovely bouquet from my husband that was just moving past it's prime.  I came up with some great prints on the watercolor paper; the mixed media paper basically disintegrated.  Now, I need to add an image of a wood sprite, tree spirit, or one of the Goddesses from the sacred glen.

Art is amazing. 

I planted Belladonna seeds today; I found the seeds in my seed box in an envelope with a hand written label that I don't recognize. I received belladonna seeds before; they were a gift from one of my cultural anthropology teachers many years ago. She is also a high priestess in the Wiccan tradition. I first met her in 1996 when I was attending the local community college. I took every course she offered in the Anthropology department and went on to earn my bachelor's degree in Anthropology. I didn't plant the seeds then; I didn't think I was ready for that kind of power.

During that time frame, I would happen across my teacher's path at the most interesting times in my life; usually times of personal upheaval.  Somewhere around the year 2000 I met year at a home department store and she mentioned she would be teaching a class on roses for the Learning Exchange. How could I possibly resist that invitation?  I didn't know why but the appeal of taking a class on the culinary use of roses was tremendous. I went home and registered.

The afternoon of roses was delightful.  She taught us about the history of the use of roses as well as some of the culinary benefits, medicinal uses, and the magic that comes with every herb in the kingdom. We made rose hip jelly, rose bath salts, rose skin salve, and made rose garland for the holidays. At the end of the afternoon she casually mentioned that she would be teaching an herbal apprenticeship that would begin the following month in her home. I didn't really know what that was but I felt absolutely compelled to join in.

I was a little apprehensive as the beginning of the course came around. When I arrived at her house I felt like I had entered a magic place like no other.  Her herb garden, at the entrance of the house was amazing; the house itself was crazy!  There were books, art, talismans, magic items, fabrics, tarot decks, tapestries, antiques and things I didn't have any idea about. I felt like I walked into a powerful folktale and that my personal transformation was inevitable. We met one weekend a month for nine months and I learned about so many beautiful herbs.  Some of my favorite include lemon balm, lavender, jasmine and rosemary.  Oh, and roses of course.

At the end of this program, she mentioned she would be co-teaching in another herb program at the Morning Sun Herb Farm starting the following summer. How could I possible resist? A year later, I started in yet another apprenticeship program with her, this time connected to earth based spirituality and my interest in women's circles with a focus on spirituality blossomed into a twenty plus year experience which includes a master's program in Women's Spirituality.

Somewhere along the timeline, she invited me to attend a program she called Magical Middle School!  No surprise, I couldn't resist. At the end of the this program she offered participants the opportunity to go through an initiation to mark the completion of the second level of study. This would be my first experience in a ritual and I was a little nervous.  The ritual was beautiful, and very significant. At the end of the journey she offered Belladonna seeds to me; I accepted even though it was apparent the seeds were for a powerful plant.

Belladonna has quite a history with connections to Romeo and Juliet and to the renaissance women of Italy. It is also known as Deadly Nightshade. Belladonna is highly toxic yet is used in a variety of medicines; it is an ingredient in the medicine that dilates your eyes at the optometrist's office. It is also an ingredient in witches flying ointment which is a green salve with hallucinogenic properties; this also dates back to the middle ages.  I've never tried flying ointment myself.

At this point in my life, I feel that I am ready for the lessons that will come with inviting such a powerful entity into my space. The planting of the seeds invited reflection and gratitude to all of my teachers along the way; humans, plants, experiences and the process of using art as personal sacred practice.

On an energetic level, I feel that belladonna is quite a seductress and if she were in human form I'm confident she would be wearing dark purple flowing silk and lots of sparkly silver jewelry with ribbons woven into her long hair. And then there is Stevie Nicks' version as well. 

​www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGXwo-cU5S0